Crit partners. We discussed the better side of it but I want to talk about bad crit partners this week… so we can all have a jam sesson on the good and the bad side of critting. I was late getting this up so Kendal is going to post in comments. I’m also sick as a dog, so this might not be as coherent as usual ( if it’s more coherent, I think I need to start drinking and doing drugs to up my writing prowess because I’m pretty souped up on all kinds of stuff right now).

Down to the business at hand–the tough dirt on crit partners. I don’t know about you but for me there’s a tense moment when I hand over my baby to the first set of eyes. Will they see the wonder and beauty of what I’ve created? Will they treat it with respect and some kindness and help me nurse it and nurture it into the mature being I envision?

Or will they rip my poor baby to shreds, detailing with agonizing coldness all of her flaws and misproportions. Will they rip out her beautiful golden-brown hair and throw a raven wig to cover the scars now marring her perfection? Will they suggest brown eyes instead of blue… will they shred her beautiful skin with their great rasping claws and steal the very heart and soul of my own flesh and blood creation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will they…

Oh, sorry. Got a bit caught up in the imagery ( you should have seen the entrails and beating heart and heard my whimpering cries) but let’s get real. That’s sometimes what it feels like when you get a particularly harsh, waspish crit partner.

Yet some of the best crit partners that I’ve ever had were hard. I mean battle-hardened, no-holds-barred, we’re whipping you into shape, no matter the pain, crit partners. These pros can hand you your butt on a platter and you’ll thank them for it.

So what makes the difference in a truly great, life-altering experience versus the grim reaper scenario?

I think it all comes from the attitude portrayed in the remarks and previous coversations, the tone of voice, the lack of sarcasm… so I’m developing a list of traits my Angels have and a list of traits the Harbinger’s of Death (GrimReapers) have:

Angels                                                                                                         

1. Ease you into harsh comments with friendly email ”Here are my comments. I went pretty deep and  some of
them may seem harsh but I wanted to give you the best to make this unique and marketable.”
2. Comments are to the point, without much sarcasm ”Pacing could move faster. Consider tightening these last
two pages.”
3. Little notes in margins when something just isn’t right “Um… why is she wearing a bra when it was thrown off two
paragraphs ago. And where’s the condom?”
4. Major criticisms come in the form of to the point comments and direction with additional notes of clarification like, “This whole chapter needs rethought. Things are happening too fast and out of sequence. I’ve added some additional notes. Can’t wait to see this rewritten. It’s a pivotal scene.”     
5. Comments give concrete help as to what is wrong  ”Not everyone has a foot fetish, maybe you need to beef this scene up a bit to bring us into this mindset?”

Grim Reapers

1. Email subject line: “Story crit… LOL… it’s bad”
2. Crude comments, “Only slugs move this slow.”
3. Little notes saying stuff like, “THIS SUCKS”
4. Major criticisms occur with track changes and a  complete rewrite of 2, 3, 5 pages with no note or anything useful as to where you went wrong (You really don’t want to see my take on the rewrite usually they suck and they completely miss what you’re trying to accomplish. Small rewrites are always welcome but I like the fundamental parts of my story to remain recognizable.
5. Comments are vague and maybe irrelevant,”UGH, toe jam. That’s gross. Major squick factor here.”

Of course, my list can go on and on. What about you? Do you have some absolute no-no’s when it comes to critting? When have you received what would undoubtedly be a harsh criticism but you didn’t feel that way because you honestly felt they were trying to help and were giving spot on advice?

I’m interested to hear what people like and dont’ like in a crit partner.