Erica was talking about setting and plot last week, and I got to thinking about some stories I’ve read lately. In one, the author is targeting 15-16 year old girls, but I feel like the story reads for 8-10 year olds. I couldn’t put my finger on why that was. The heroine’s POV feels pretty mature for her age — but is that her age, or the age I *think* she is? Why do I think she’s younger than she is if she thinks like a teenager would?

I read through a couple of chapters before I put my finger on it. While the story itself is technically flawless (although having had a car since I was 16, it’s hard for me to accept she’s riding a bike around CJBM), the setting has no depth to it. The heroine might travel “from the library to the kitchen” or “into her bedroom.” There’s no challenge for me as a reader, no colorful pictures to paint, and very little tone beyond what I remember getting out of an RL Stine book. (Remember those?)

Then there’s the story where the heroine and hero are apart for what I think is way too long. I never realized how important it is for the heroine to be able to filter the hero through her senses to me. If they’re chatting on the phone or IMing, what about him is coming through? LOLs and deep chuckles aren’t doing it for me.

Then there’s Erica’s fabulous WIP, Touched, wherein she took a comedy of mystery and turned it into a true gothic novel. What did she do? Rethink the setting. Rethink how the characters interacted with the setting. And most importantly, she showed the setting — not told it.

Which brings me to my WIP. Starting back at page 0, I have a chance to change the tone of RTR. Have I? I hope so. The book as I wrote it started out light — picnics, dinner, and sunshine — and moved into a very dark place emotionally. Did I carry the reader to that deep, conflicted place? Or did I leave her out in the sunshine, thereby confusing her?

Who do you know who includes setting well? What have you learned and applied to your own ms?