Mar
Manuscript Revision — Characterization
Yesterday I mentioned a workshop I give. It’s on manuscript revision, which I thought might be helpful to some of you. It contains fourteen different points to look for and revise in your manuscript to make it stronger, and today I thought I’d toss out one of these points with the hope that it might help/inspire you.
Let’s talk about characterization. I believe that the best stories are those that are character driven as opposed to plot driven. Look at the these three movies: Gone With the Wind, The Wizard of Oz, and Star Wars. What is the very first thing we think of with any of these movies? The CHARACTERS. In Gone With the Wind, our first image is of Scarlett and Rhett. Yeah, there’s a war going on, but SCARLETT and RHETT! As for the other two movies–Dorothy! Tin Man! Wicked Witch! Han Solo! Han Solo (he bears saying twice). It is ESSENTIAL that you the writer know your characters as well as you know yourself–if you don’t know them, your reader won’t know them and frankly, we just don’t care as much about people we don’t know as we do about those who are dear to our hearts. You must also make your characters behave in ways that fit their personalities, and if they don’t, they have a darn good reason not to.
One way to get to know your characters better is to fill out a personality profile about them–the sort that online dating services might use. You may never need to put in your manuscript the fact that the hero used to make mudpies as a child, but YOU need to know him that intimately. By the time I finish a book, I know my h/h much better than I did when I started out, therefore the bulk of MY revisions (before my editor ever sees the mss) occur in the beginning chapters, where I didn’t know my people as well as when I typed “the end.”
Go back through your manuscript and ask yourself these questions: After the end of the scenes where we first meet the hero and heroine, how well do we know them? Do we have a reason to care about them? Empathize (or sympathize) with them? Find them intriguing? Have they engaged our emotions? Are their actions logical? By the end of the first chapter have I set up the conflict between them? Is there enough conflict between them to sustain the entire story? At the end of EVERY scene, ask yourself–have I revealed something about my character in this scene through either his thoughts, words, actions, or reactions–depending on whose point of view I’m in.
And tomorrow, we can talk about point of view.
In the meanwhile, if you have any questions about this, let ‘em rip. And as for revising your manuscript, remember what Sidney Sheldon said: Books aren’t written, they are rewritten.
Well another day, and I’m off to work again. I’ll post my comments when I return. Jacquie, you can read minds huh? I needed this advice badly.
I just wanted to say that Sidney Sheldon is one of my favorite authors. “Tell me your dreams” still hunts me to this day.
Thanks,
March 23rd, 2006 at 9:29 amIsabel
Hey people, this is timely. I just got knocked once again for my hero being “strangely passive.” Even with the revisions! But he is SUPPOSED to be passive, so now I don’t know whether to count that as a success or a failure. The first-time reader liked the part where he gets himself in gear and decides to act heroic even though he doesn’t want to, but apparently it’s just too far outside the mold to have an introverted hero to start out with.
I guess I’ll still be plugging away at my characterizations
Thanks!
March 23rd, 2006 at 10:35 amI feel I know my H/H’s temperments really well and lots of backhistory but I think I could use a bit of that information to help the reader along in the first few chapters rather than waiting.
Some of the backstory has to wait for the ending chapters. Why? Well because its part of the “git-r-done” area haha.
I dont know why but I can sit here and giggle with delight at how things build to a boil for the ending. Lindsey is going to be sooo angry she might just do something unladylike.
Here’s a quick question: I’m sure authors feel the same excitement with new plots/stories as we do but how do you manage not to sit there and giggle to anyone that will listen?
These characters are so alive for me that when I talk about them its almost like I’m being the town gossip and spreading secrets. Speaking of town gossips does anyone know what Lady Whistledown is up to lately? lol
March 23rd, 2006 at 1:54 pmThis topic is actually spot on for me at the moment since I just finished my second MS and am facing a lot of revisions. I was sitting just last night staring at my screen and trying to figure out how to go about it.
Eventually I kind of gave up and just started reading chapter by chapter and making sure things are the way they should be. Eventually I need to add some scenes (but that’s not until about halfway through the book), so for now I’m just making sure my characters act like they’re supposed to, and maybe adding some more emotions than before, since - like you - I know my h/h a lot better once the book is finished.
That workshop sounds really interesting. You’re not holding it any time soon perhance? *s*
Emily
March 23rd, 2006 at 3:44 pmGreat topic Jacquie!
I’m still getting to know my h/h and am enjoying the process. The information you shared in much appreciated.
Do you ever do online workshops? Also, will you have a booksigning (here in ATL) before RWA this July?
Thanks,
March 23rd, 2006 at 4:04 pmAndrea
Isabel: My favorite Sidney Sheldon was Master of the Game. I remember reading it and being blown away by all the wicked twists and turns.
Lacey Kaye: there’s nothing wrong with a reluctant hero (Hamlet, anyone?). Many tortured heroes are introverted–just make certain that his motivations (why he is the way he is) are compelling and interesting and something that will arouse either our sympathy or our empathy. It’s essential that the reader (and the editor) fall in love with your hero.
Haven Rich: It sounds like you have a great handle on your characters!
Emmie: I’m giving the workshop at the DARA conference next weekend (Dallas Area Romance Authors). As for adding more emotion, something that might help is another facet of my workshop–something I call action/reaction. To give you an abbreviated description: Describe your characters’ reactions to each other–their appearance, their words, their actions. This is how the editor and your readers get to KNOW and CARE about your characters. He touches her hand–if we’re in his POV, how does her skin feel? How does her hand feels in his? If we’re in her POV, describe what his touch does to her. When he speaks, how do his WORDS affect her? If he’s angry, how does she react? How does she react when she’s hurt/tired/sad/happy/frightened/confused/aroused? Take this a step further and show these reactions through the POV character. For example–you’re in the hero’s POV and he’s just made a VERY suggestive comment to your heroine. Show her reaction through HIS eyes–do her eyes widen? Does she look shocked? Pleased? Does her breathing become rapid? Does her skin flush? And how do all those things make HIM react? If she appears aroused, he’ll react differently than if she shoots him a dirty look and draws and Uzi.
Andrea: I’ve never given an online workshop, but time-permitting, I’d be open to the idea. As for a booksigning in ATL before RWA, I’m not planning any as my next book (Never a Lady) doesn’t come out until August. I’ll be signing at RWA, but not Never a Lady as it won’t be available yet. I may do a signing for the book on the third Saturday in August in the Norcross area. If so, I’ll post details on my website.
March 23rd, 2006 at 8:32 pmJacquie, when you’re ready to do an online workshop let us know.
I’m long ways from revising a Mss but I will keep this blog handy for when that happens.
Jaquie, what books do you have out at this time? All Harlequin? I know the sequel to NQAG is due out later this year but what about your other works?
Isabel
March 23rd, 2006 at 10:08 pmJacquie,
Great idea, I love the whole action/reaction premise. I think that will really help me in the upcoming chapters of my WIP.
I sometimes worry that I add too much detail and not enough dialaogue. When is enough, enough…or too much, too little…or should I even be worrying about this at all? lol.
Michelle
March 24th, 2006 at 12:01 amJacquie, thanks for the tips on the action/reaction. I do do that, but I will pay extra attention to it because I think I can probably add a lot more detail to it.
Right now I’m just reading through the MS looking for obvious mistakes. I need to reacquaint myself with what I’ve written. The first chapters really was some time ago and I’ve almost forgotten what happens *lol* (Just almost though…)
Definitely going to pay extra attention to the action/reaction though because when I think about it that’s the part that makes good books great.
March 24th, 2006 at 6:01 amEmily
Michelle: it’s important (yet tricky) to find a balance between diaglogue and narrative. Details enrich the story, but you don’t want to add so many that they bog down the story. Mix it up here and there by finding new ways to avoid a long, laundry list of details. Use short, punchy sentences. Also, you can add details using dialogue. For instance, if your hero and heroine are in the drawing room, you could do something like this: Victoria traced her fingers over the ornate marble mantle. “I cannot imagine why you would ask me such a thing, my lord.” So, you’re adding a bit of detail without doing a “detail dump.”
Isabel: all my historical books are in print and can be purchased or ordered at any bookstore or online. Kiss the Cook, which was out of print, was re-issued in January and is still available. My Harlequin books leave the bookstore after a month, but the most recent (Sinfully Sweet) is available on Amazon. Probably a few of the others are as well. I have a printable book list on my website–although it needs to be updated to include Sinfully Sweet and my upcoming releases. They’re not posted on my website yet, so here they are: Never a Lady goes on sale July 25th. In September I have a Blaze coming out entitled Just Trust Me…(a really fun book to write–it’s part of the Adrenaline Rush series and takes place during a four-day hike to Machu Picchu). Also in Sept. is a Harlequin anthology entitled Come Summer. Then in October, a re-issue of Stroke of Midnight, a holiday anthology. As for 2007, I’ll have a Blaze anthology in February for Valentine’s day, and the first Mayhem in Mayfair book in July, followed six months later (in Jan. 2008) by the second Mayhem in Mayfair book.
Emmie: you’ll be surprised how much it helps to NOT look at your work for a while. By the time I go back and look at those opening chapters, things are much clearer to me. I’m sure you’ll do great!
March 24th, 2006 at 9:04 amThanks for the detailed update on your books, Jacquie. I love your historicals already and I’m now interested in your contemps. I’ll check them out. I started reading Silhouette (sp) romances ages ago…
Isabel
March 24th, 2006 at 9:18 amJacquie, thanks for the words of encouragement. I found out through clarification that the problem isn’t that my hero is passive but that he’s in the middle of this life-or-death sequence and he pauses, Hamlet-style, to contemplate life. The suggestion actually centered around–not his reluctance to BE the hero (my mistake)–but his internal conflict about actually climbing into a burning rigging. So the workshop coordinator said the details and pace of the scene are excellent, and she really felt his reluctance, but then I tried to explain why he didn’t want to be heroic and that was just too much information too soon. She suggested that I delete ALL of his internal conflict and work harder on showing his fear: the way he looks down at the receeding deck and gets vertigo, squeezing his eyes shut against the endless ocean about to swallow him up, etc. And she was right! I deleted his internal stuff, and sure, that will have to be added into the story somewhere else, or how will we know what his problem is? But in the prologue, it was out of place–kind of like what Michelle was saying. Ah. So much to learn.
You know, I just recently got that action/reaction thing about two weeks ago. The motivation to retype my ms centered around a need to flesh out the reader’s emotional impact. I found that your two lines of advice is so simple and yet so incredibly important. Thanks to all the authors who take time out to help us little people!
March 24th, 2006 at 9:19 amLacey Kaye: It sounds like the change you made to your scene really tightened it up. In fact, it sounds fabulous! We hear “show, don’t tell” so often, and there’s a reason–it makes for much more effective writing. Something similar happened to me with Who Will Take This Man? I started the book with the hero’s return to London after ten years in Egypt, with him in the carriage returning to the home he hadn’t seen in a decade. All the info was there, but it was slow and a totaly yawn-fest. My editor (who was sweet enough to use the word “slow” instead of “yawn-fest”)suggested that I cut that entire chapter down to a one page prologue in the form of a letter, which I did. That fast, snappy letter gave 90% of the information that the plodding chapter gave, and the other 10% was weaved in elsewhere. It made all the difference in the beginning of the book.
March 24th, 2006 at 9:41 amOMG Jacquie, I LOVED that letter! I loved the tone his father used, the cursing, and you’re right; it set the stage for me perfectly. How clever!
I actually bought WWTTM because my critique partner read it and pointed out you did an excellent job bringing your childhood-challenged hero to alpha proportions. yay!
March 24th, 2006 at 11:44 am