Jan
The Thing About Green
The romance industry is weird. Have you noticed this? Well, if you haven’t, you will. First, it’s the most open and sharing portion of the industry. Romance authors are connected to each other via the internet and local RWA chapters in a way no other genre is. Plus, we have one of the only trade organizations, Romance Writers of America, that offers equal membership for both unpublished and published authors. With the exception of the extra PAN (Published Authors Network) benefits, everything Nora Roberts gets, the newest newbie gets, as well.
So it’s funny that even in the midst of this atmosphere of openness and sharing, there is still the ugly matter of Professional Jealousy. That ugly, green little monster can rear its head on the best of us, turning us from open and welcoming professional women, to catty bitches ready to unsheathe our claws. And sometimes it strikes when you least expect it.
What is at the heart of professional jealousy? Well, I think the answer isn’t as ugly as it seems. I think for most people, it’s wanting what someone else got. Not wishing the other person hadn’t gotten it, but wishing the jealous one had gotten it first. This is such an up and down profession. You can be so close you can taste the darn ink on the contract… and yet you can’t catch that break, get that magical combination of luck, talent and timing that takes you from aspiring to published. And along comes Suzy Come Lately and she just got a three book deal with the editor you’ve been pursuing for a year.
Admit it. You get a little green about the gills.
It’s okay. It’s okay to feel that flash of, “Man, I wish that was me-ee-eeeee.”
What is not okay, what is the moment that takes you over the line is the moment you do something about it. The moment you put down the accomplishment to the excited author who got the contract, the moment you blog about ‘people who don’t deserve what they get’, the moment you write a nasty review of the person’s book just because you’re frustrated at your own situation.
The sad thing is that this little green horror can ruin so many things. Friendships have been busted up over someone’s irritation that their critique partner got a literary agent first. RWA chapters have split into factions over personal quibbles that often come down to plain old jealousy. And writers who were perfectly happy about the trajectory of their career have found themselves with churning stomachs over an offhand comment about a bestseller list. And don’t get me started about the cross-genre fights about which subgenre is ‘ruining romance’ (I actually have an article about that issue at Passionate Pen if you want to get into that nastiness more). Allowing jealousy to take over almost always hurts the jealous person more than anyone else. So how do you fight that natural twinge?
First, remember that in this business, we’re competing with ourselves more than anyone else. If Suzy Come Lately gets on a bestseller list when you didn’t or sells a book when you didn’t, it actually has 100% nothing to do with you. It may seem like it does when you’re reading her blog, but it doesn’t. Oh, and speaking of her blog… Stop. Reading. It. Just go back to writing the best book you can. That’s the thing you can control. Sometimes (in fact most of the time), the ONLY thing you can control.
Don’t believe too much spin either. Good or bad. And especially don’t believe your own. Suzy might be talking about that bestseller list… but she might not mention that her Mom is dying, so she is going to be three months late on her next due date. You just don’t know what the situation in her life is. Kind of puts that stupid list in perspective, huh?
Finally, remember that good things ripple. If a new author performs well, it helps all new and aspiring authors because the publishers remember that a debut author can sell well. They might buy a new author themselves because of it. Hey, it might be you. When a romance author hits the bestseller list, it helps everyone. More romance authors making a good showing equals booksellers buying books, readers being exposed to more voices and it’s good for everyone!
Jealousy is natural. But it’s destructive. So when it bites you, just don’t let it take over and rule you. It will only stifle your creativity and destroy your own happiness.
Tomorrow, I’ll talk about the 1st Year of a Published Author!
Jenna, what a great attitude you have!! And you are absolutely right. Jealousy is natural, but you can’t let it consume you. The best I can equate this to is my daughter’s gymnastics team. It’s an individual sport, but of course you cheer for the entire team during the meet. You want each girl to do her best. You also hope that your daughter does just a leeeetle bit better than all the rest during the competition and takes 1st place. *g* But if she’s beaten by her teammate, then you just have to have the attitude that that’s just great exposure for the club as a whole, and use that as incentive to do even better at the next meet.
January 26th, 2006 at 1:24 pmOh trust me, I don’t always have a good attitude. I definitely got into a ’snark cycle, recently actually! I heard myself do it one day and realized how much the stuff I was saying was hurting ME and not changing anything that I was worried about.
I’m on the ’snark’ cold turkey diet. No blogs that snark. No snarking myself.
And you know what… I feel so much better and more optimistic and more excited about my career!
January 26th, 2006 at 2:17 pmWell I’ve seen a few writers get that golden contract while I’ve been writing and my little greenie wasn’t ruling me. Not to say I never said “man I wish that was me” but it was never “she didn’t deserve that”.
For me, everytime I see a new author pop up on the boards that I visit it lights the fire under my fingers to write more. Because I know the only way to get my book published is if I finish the darn thing and get it into the hands of publishers. So I have no one to blame except myself.
I’ve been in the spot to wish others the worst but have never done it. If I didn’t do well it only made me angry…at myself. I might not have been on my A-game or I just got annoyed and wanted to do better the next time. As with any person having someone say you could have done better (my idea of a rejection)hurts but it just proves you need to work on your faults more.
Any of the ladies of this group could be published before me and it would only hurt because I should have been working harder instead of playing around.
I know I might be going into this with an odd point of view but I’ve always been “the good you put off comes back to you” type person. So I’m going to wish others the very best with all my heart and hope for the day it comes back.
Now I think everyone is jealous of Nora Roberts, mostly because they want to know how in the heck she does it and wishing they could do it as well. I think she types in her sleep lol.
Hope everyone has a good day.
January 26th, 2006 at 3:52 pmWell, I hate to admit, but I’ve felt the green monster too. I remember one time in particular was I think in 2004. A lady posted on the old board that she had gotten “the call” and that she was going to be an Avon Author as well. I was soooo green!
But I came to realize, the only way to get over this is to realize what you said, every new author helps the business as a whole, and just wait for my turn to come. But in the meantime…KEEP ON WRITING!!! If you’re just staring at a blank screen, or course you’ll never get published! lol.
Michelle
January 26th, 2006 at 7:24 pmI think we all have a brief moment of that ‘I wish it was me’ feeling. I know I have, but I don’t begrudge whoever got the contract their happiness. I do hope that one day that happy person will be me
January 27th, 2006 at 2:35 amI had the oddest dream tonight though. I dreamt that I was at the RWA conference (or something similar) and I was going to pitch my MS, but I’d not realised this and hadn’t prepared. Didn’t even have a scrap of paper with the hero’s and heroine’s basic motivations or conflict, so I was going to have to do it all on the fly. Odd dreams indeed. (Not to mention that I also dreamt that I was a contestant in a dating program in which I felt sadly lacking… But let’s not talk about that..)
I’ve certainly run into and observed the jealousy of SOME pubbed authors as well. Those that are used to being the center of attention,the queen bee if you will. When an up and coming author does well, and gains some of that attention, qb doesn’t like it. And then there are the established authors that are used to having a following of fan/newbie writers who hang on their every word, and when the newbie authors grow into their own as writers, and learn to have opinions of their own,they have no furter use for them.
I’m happy to say, however, that on the whole, Published Authors are wonderfully generous. The Green ones are in the minority, to be sure.
January 29th, 2006 at 5:50 pm