I think most writers start out with a dream. They will write a book. Then they’ll send off a letter to the publisher they like most and the publisher will buy the book and they’ll become as successful as Nora Roberts.

And then reality sets in.

As you all know by now, the writing part is not easy. And you’re always learning something new. And then the selling part… whew! The selling part is so hard, with the querying and the rejecting and the requesting and the hoping and the rejecting again. The crying and the sweating are scary, too. It takes most authors years and many manuscripts before they hear the first ‘yes’. It took me four years and… it was more than ten manuscripts… to sell my first novella to Red Sage. And another year and getting close to twenty manuscripts before I sold to Avon (the manuscript I sold was my tenth manuscript, but I’d written several more in interim).

So how in the world can you do this, pursue this dream and not give up while you’re on the long and lonely road. Here are my tips:

1. Have a good support system — Make friends with writers. Don’t just search for critique partners (though it’s nice to have one or two of those), but look for friends. Say thank you when people help you (you’d be surprised how many people ask me long and involved question on Passionate Pen, I take half an hour or an hour out of my day to answer and they never say thanks). Be interested in other people’s journey and writing. Find people who will support you, whether it’s telling you something you don’t want to hear (gently) or boosting you up.

If you encounter people who make you feel bad or bring you down, try to avoid them. Don’t get tangled up in their drama. This is hard enough.

Hopefully, you’ll also have a family that supports you. Sometimes it will take them a while to come around. Yesterday I said to take your dream seriously so that others will have to. So don’t poo-poo your own writing and grit your teeth and keep plugging if you get flack from people. Hopefully, as time passes and they see you really are serious about this, they’ll start to understand. But some never will, so have other support systems.

2. Have friends who are not writers – I think a big part of my struggles before I was published (and even since) is that because I do write full-time, I don’t have a lot of friends outside of the writing world. So I don’t get a break from shop talk. Keep friends who don’t have any clue what a synopsis is and don’t care. Talk about things that aren’t related to writing. Have hobbies (my husband is probably laughing if he’s reading this since he’s always wanting me to get a hobby). But don’t get tunnel vision. Trust me, it only leads to burn out.

3. Know the signs of burnout — For me, I’d get really crabby and tired and start to feel hopeless. Even if I loved the book I was writing, I wouldn’t want to finish because I knew, just knew that this was going to be yet another book that every editor who saw it would say they loved but couldn’t buy (I hit this type of rejection about three to four years in and it was so disheartening). Why bother?? At that point, I knew I was burned out.

4. Don’t ignore burnout — This was another thing I often did. That tunnel vision thing. But don’t do it. It will only make things worse. Give yourself a break. Read books. Go outside, take a walk. Play a board game with your kids instead of your usual nightly writing hour. Watch bad television. Go see a movie. Just remove yourself from the situation for a while.

5. Quit. — When things get really bad, you’re going to want to quit. And sometimes, it’s okay to quit. Lots of authors say, if you can quit… do!! Because most of us can’t walk away. So if you’re really at a frayed end of your rope, put it all away and see if you want to come back in a couple of weeks. After a week or so away, I always came back. Feeling more refreshed. Feeling my optimism coming back.

6. Laugh — Read books about rejections other writers encountered. Rotten Reviews and Rejections from Pushcart is a great one. Seriously, you read some of the rejections great 19th century authors got… and you will want to kiss every editor you see. They are NEVER that mean. Read funny articles. Have a sense of humor about the situation when you can.

7. Read Stephen King — I think On Writing is a masterpiece. Buy it. Read it. Read it again. I always read it when I quit and I always picked my manuscript back up the next day. Buy two copies.

8. Know that one thing is true… anything can happen – This is my last bit of advice. Anything can happen. Just a little more than a year ago, I had no idea that I was about to sell a book to Avon. Just two years ago, I was telling my husband that I was going to make one last attempt to get an agent and sell the one historical romance I hadn’t pitched out. If I couldn’t sell it, I was going to stop writing historical. By April of 2004, I had hired my wonderful agent. By September, she had sold two historicals to Avon. I was going to quit. Keep writing, but do erotic romance novellas and sell for at least a while. And just around the corner was my dream.

You just never know what’s going to happen next. And I think that is what keeps us marching forward on this big and often lonely road. I used to wake up and look and my husband and say, “Today, today, it could happen today!”

And it could. Unless you stop trying.

Tomorrow, I will talk about one of the big stopping points, especially along the road to publication. Professional Jealousy!