For some reason, the moment I write the title of this post I want to change it to The Force. May the Force be with you… As I wish it was with me.

However, I’m of course speaking of the energy to write and not of some mysterious jedi energy that I have no chance of ever feeling. This is a subject that I’m bringing up because I’m having problems with it myself at the moment. Something which I - as an aspiring writer - is quite ashamed of.

I work a full time job which is draining all my energy and once I come home I have not had the ability to write recently. In my previous job I didn’t have a problem, though I worked the same amount of hours, and I was still able to write in the weekend in my current job up until some time ago. I can’t explain it, but it feels as if because I’m unhappy about my job (which I am, but I won’t bore you with the details) it seems to suck all of the energy and inspiration right out of me.

Now, when I get home in the evenings, I don’t sit down and write like I did before. I end up on the couch and the thought of even lifting a finger feels like I could just as well try to move that slight mountain over there. Ok, maybe that’s a slight exxageration… I am able to lift my finger still.

But basically, I just feel sucked dry. My inspiration is gone… No, wait… That’s not entirely true. The characters are still living inside my head, wanting their story to continue, I’m just not able to focus this into actually writing.

I was guessing it might have something to do with emotional energy or something. Because I’m so unhappy, I can’t write. But that doesn’t work out either. About one year ago my boyfriend since five years broke up with me and I thought that I wouldn’t possibly be able to write a romantic novel when heartbroken (I had written about six chapters at that point). Turns out I could. I ended up writing twice as much! I finished the manuscript four months later.

So I’m at a loss here. Why can’t I write? Where has my energy gone off to? I feel like I’ve lost something vital to me, because I have always been able to write, and now I’m not able to.

Has anyone else ever felt anything like this? Any suggestions about what to do? (Except find another job which I’m working on, because this one - to be honest - is making me absolutely miserable.)

I’m not even trying now though, because Christmas is coming up, and even if I’d start to write today I’d get interrupted by my trip to visit my family. January though, I’m going to have to force myself - somehow (as if I’ve not been trying that already) to start writing again. It’s all about sitting down, right? Except I’ve tried that, and it’s not worked.

Either way, January is my goal. I just need to find a way to get back into the spirit of things. Push myself a little harder still.

Ideas on how to achieving this would be appreciated though. Because I desperately want to start writing again. Every day that goes without me writing feels like a failure, and I hate not writing. I want to! So badly… But somehow… I just can’t.